Connection Through Music

Capitol Records, Los Angeles — Capitol Records Tower, West Hollywood, CA. Photo by Mina Rios

My son James came up with a novel idea and I embraced it wholeheartedly, even taking the concept a few steps further, as a model exercise in mindfulness – through music. At the end of my personal experiment of sorts, I decided the positive results seemed worthy of sharing, for others to experience and test the potential benefits. Please enjoy the following details of my music experience, as well as some personal insights and interesting facts.

Visiting my son in Los Angeles always includes a few fun, entertainment related activities. When I shared with James, I was considering seeing the electronic music group Underworld at The Shrine – in late September 2023, he encouraged I attend. He also shared that he planned on attending a concert that week as well. After discussing my tentative visit over the phone, James sent a follow-up text that took me by surprise. His message read, “I’ll go to Underworld if you go to my show lol.”

Considering James is fluent in sarcasm, and he loathes texting; I was certain he was joking. I was wrong. I was so moved by the thoughtfulness of his gesture. His willingness to join me for a show that he knew was important to me meant the world.

Becoming Mindful

Deciding to attend each other’s music events reminded me of some objectives I set for myself following the pandemic. Getting through that difficult time motivated me to create more meaningful experiences with loved ones and find new ways to reduce stress and improve overall quality of life. This desire for change led to my research in Cognitive Behavioral Concepts which offers insightful tools for heightening one’s self-awareness, overcoming obstacles, and experiencing things more profoundly.

Studying and practicing these concepts has provided me with a fundamental understanding of what it means to be mindful and present. While planning to attend these music events with my son, I began to see these activities as ideal models for engaging in mindfulness. Since adopting these healing body and mind practices, my appreciation for time spent with loved ones has deepened.

Engaging in Mindfulness

Refrain from judgment
Become present/acutely aware of one’s surroundings
Use all senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch
Close your eyes. Take a moment to relax and clear your mind. Take a deep breath – counting to four slowly as you inhale. Count to four slowly as you exhale. Repeat 3x – or as needed.

At the Shrine in LA

At last, September 28 arrived, and James and I were off to see Underworld. Feeling present and overjoyed to have my son accompanying me to the show, I immersed myself in the moment.

The film enthusiast in me was captivated by the Shrine Auditorium and Expo Hall, seeing it for the first time. The restored Moorish Revival architecture of the landmark venue, where 10 Academy Awards ceremonies were held between 1947 and 2001, was spectacular.

Inside the spacious Expo Hall, potent cannabis lingered overhead while attendees 21 and up drank and mingled before the first act. The person to our right kindly offered a hit of weed, but we graciously declined, opting to stick with our own poison. James was content with an ale while I sipped a double gin & tonic. Sadly, there was no vermouth to remedy my martini craving.

DJ Kelly Lee Owens opened the show for an enthusiastic crowd. Digging her music, the gentleman to my left asked if I was familiar with Owens. I was not; but shared that I appreciated her intro – a remix of Bjork’s “Big Time Sensuality.” Days later, I learned Owens had been opening for Depeche Mode during their Memento Mori tour. Impressive.

While Underworld ran about a half hour late, I used that time to find my way to the front of the stage, as I generally do. James decided he was more comfortable further back, so we agreed to do our own thing until the show ended.

Rick Smith on keyboards and vocalist Karl Hyde of Underworld. Shrine Expo Hall, Los Angeles, 28 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

Once the main event was underway, Rick Smith took his place behind the keyboards while vocalist Karl Hyde took command of the stage.

First on the setlist was an unexpected selection, “Caliban’s Dream,” a joyous composition Underworld produced for the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremony; inexorably casting everyone under their spell. Dense machine-made smoke blanketed the room as twelve immersive tracks played over the course of the evening. Songs included:

Three debuts from earlier this year, “Gene Pool,” “Denver Luna,” “And the Colour Red”
“S T A R” – a track from Underworld’s 2018/19 experimental project “Drift”
Seven Underworld classics from ‘93 – 2002
The live debut of “Techno Shinkansen”

Underworld, Shrine Expo Hall, Los Angeles, 28 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

With his magnetic stage presence and deep entrancing vocals – Hyde never disappoints; one of Underworld’s most distinctive attributes, separating them from other electronic groups – something James says he appreciates about Underworld.

No performance is ever complete without the euphoric rush of Underworld’s trademark anthem, “Born Slippy .Nuxx.” Generally reserved for last, this track was the highlight of the evening for James; a familiar riff going back to his youth. James was just six years old when the 1996 film soundtrack, “Trainspotting,” featuring Underworld’s “Born Slippy .Nuxx” was released. I became obsessed with the album, listening to it repeatedly. Every piece of music conveyed all that I was feeling while raising two kids with my husband, finishing college, and working two jobs – with a local newspaper and an upscale Italian restaurant. Despite the many challenges, it was my mountain to climb – and I did – with music as both my consolation and motivation. “Born Slippy .Nuxx,” became my personal victory anthem when I graduated from college in 1997. The pulsing beat of “Born Slippy .Nuxx” remains ingrained in my mind, as I’m sure it does with both my adult children.

Vocalist Karl Hyde of Underworld, larger than life – atop a platform. Shrine Expo Hall, Los Angeles, 28 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

Music Genres, Image and Influence

My son James, and his younger sister Rebecca, grew up in San Diego, amid the local emo music scene. During the later half of our time living there, from 1998 – 2012, my kids’ avid appreciation of live music began taking shape. The all-ages venue SOMA was their refuge. They attended shows regularly. James even became a roadie at one point.

Since moving to Los Angeles, nearly ten years ago, James’s music appreciation has gravitated from screamo to metalcore. With the regularity of music events happening in LA, he feels right at home residing in the music capital.

Before James invited me to his metalcore concert – the Motionless in White – Touring the End of the World Tour, all I knew about the music was that it was hardcore, there were screaming vocals, and there was a goth subculture following.

To introduce me to metalcore, a fusion of extreme metal and hardcore punk, James shared the music video “Disguise” by Motionless in White. Before viewing it, I recalled that this music was important to James, so I used this opportunity to observe, not judge. Being partial to punk influence, goth makeup, styling, and theatrics, I’m not one to cringe or shy away from harsh language, horror imagery, or goth influence, so I actually enjoyed James’s video.

Among my favorite music artists from my generation (Gen X) are Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Cure, two bands broadly mislabeled as goth – on the basis of their vocalists’ style and image. If you’re a fan of their music, take note that the bands themselves have never considered their music goth.

Before attending the metalcore concert, I took the time to learn a little about the band Motionless in White. I found that most sources describe their music as metalcore/industrial metal. I also learned that their goth appearance has led to some sources identifying their music as goth; just as Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Cure have been for years. Many fans and music experts adamantly oppose this mislabeling and I share their sentiment.

At the LA Coliseum

On September 29, we arrived early at The Torch at the LA Coliseum to see Alpha Wolf, After the Burial, Knocked Loose, and the headliner – Motionless in White. Round-about lines crisscrossed in a parking lot – adjacent to the venue, seeming to go nowhere at times. Once passed security, I put on my impartial face, ready to take it all in with an open mind.

Inside the gates of the LA Coliseum, where the 1932 and 1984 Olympic games were held; and the impending 2028 Olympiad, was a beautiful vision of history. In this spacious section of the coliseum, Olympic Plaza, attendees could spread out, eat, drink, dance, and sit or stand while watching the show. The all-ages event brought-in large crowds of young people in their twenties and thirties, along with plenty of parents chaperoning their teens.

Alpha Wolf, The Torch at the LA Coliseum, 29 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

As expected, once the bands took the stage, F bombs took flight. A vocalist yelled, “Are you fucking ready? Are you mother fuckers having a good time?” “Fuck yeah!!!” shouted fans. I smiled, recalling my own excitement during the Underworld show the evening prior.

After the Burial, The Torch at the LA Coliseum, 29 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

Some parents looked perturbed by the heavy cursing. But frankly, if they paid attention to the lyrics in the music that their children are listening to, they’d have known to expect cursing at the live show.

Young people need an outlet for letting go-of their troubles. Keeping emotions bottled up never ends well. In this controlled setting among peers, where the common love of music brings people together, there’s no better outlet for releasing all that you’re feeling. When going to a concert, if you’re not dancing, screaming, head banging, or moshing, you’re not doing it right.

Moshing (extreme dancing; derived from slam dancing) went on throughout the night, mostly at the direction of the vocalists. While observing, I actually learned a few things about the activity.

Most people are familiar with the mosh pit at the front of the stage; and crowd surfing is another popular form of moshing. The circle pit however – where participants run in a circular motion, mostly counterclockwise, leaving the center clear; and the wall of death – where fans split apart, then charge into each other when the band signals, were completely new to me.

Generally speaking, moshing gets a bad rap for being dangerous. While there’s always some risk involved when moshing, the intention is to have fun, not express anger. There’s even an understood code of ethics among moshers, where the most sacred rule is to pick-up the fallen.

Fun fact: The word mosh derives from the word mash. The term emerged in the 80s when the vocalist of the band Bad Brains, encouraged the audience to liven up. The singer yelled “Mash!” in his heavy Jamaican accent. But the word the audience heard was “Mosh!“

Knocked Loose, The Torch at the LA Coliseum, 29 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

After three bands performed, I told James I was most impressed by Knocked Loose. James was surprised. He said he was sure I wouldn’t like them because they were the most hardcore. I was glad my reaction surprised him. In that moment, he learned a little something about his still youngish mum. I said I liked their sound and could hear their punk influence. I also said the vocalist’s voice reminded me of Zack de la Rocha of Rage Against the Machine.

Once the headliner, Motionless in White took the stage, they became the stand-out band of the night. Their show was mind-blowing – an experience enhanced with pyrotechnics; fierce choreography and dancing by the heavy metal dance troupe the Cherry Bombs; and a hilarious mock-commercial, performed and narrated by vocalist Chris “Motionless” Cerulli, on Zombite Medication.

Motionless in White performing, The Torch at the LA Coliseum, 29 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

At the end of the evening, I was so moved by the sincere gratitude each band expressed toward the audience. I found it refreshing that behind all those hardcore lyrics and screamed vocals, each band revealed a gentler side through their talking voices.

Motionless in White, The Torch at the LA Coliseum, 29 September 2023. Photo by Mina Rios.

In between acts, I even had an opportunity to meet some of James’s friends, all of whom were warm, gracious, and full of life, much like my son. I was honored to feel welcome among James’s tribe and I’ll treasure the experience always. If only to do it all over again. I’m open to next time if James is.

The Results

My personal experiment of sorts, practicing mindfulness – while attending music events with my son was a meaningful way to reconnect since we only see each other a few times a year. To ensure we made the most of our time together, I focused on my objectives to learn, connect, and further strengthen our relationship. Using all senses and being present while attending these music events helped me to internalize these experiences and make memories more vivid.

By refraining from judgment, I was able to avoid creating any potential tension brought on by personal biases which can create barriers and provoke opposition. Making a conscious effort to be impartial can unify people. And everyone can benefit from this simple act of selflessness.

Imagine for a moment how different the world would be if we all embraced these mindful concepts. There would be more progress, more tolerance, more peace. Humanity has the capacity to change for the better; the only caveat – too few are willing to make the effort.

Readers who wish to partake in this experiment are encouraged to share their experience with the author. Until next time. Live. Dance. And prosper.

The Experiment: Mindful Connection Through Music

Choose a music event that’s important and meaningful to you and invite someone to join you. Invite someone you don’t see often or someone you’d like to get to know better.
Ask your guest to select a music event that’s important and meaningful to them for you both to attend together. The guest does not need to be familiar with the music.
Suspend all judgement throughout both music experiences. Use your senses. Be present; acutely aware of your surroundings.
Learn something about the band/performer(s) before attending each show.
Find something positive to share about the music or experience afterward.

Engaging in Mindfulness

Refrain from judgment
Become present/acutely aware of one’s surroundings
Use all senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch
Take a moment to relax and clear your mind. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath – counting to four slowly as you inhale. Count to four slowly as you exhale. Repeat – as needed.

Sources

After the Burial official website: https://aftertheburial.co/

Alpha Wolf official website: https://www.alphawolfcvlt.com/

BBC.co.uk – Goth subculture article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/z8dwqfr

“Born Slippy .Nuxx” by Underworld – official video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiMrrleH_hI

“Caliban’s Dream” by Underworld from the 2012 London Olympics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXLDYCOJftI

Cherry Bombs official website: https://www.cherrybombs.co/

Discogs.com – Metalcore: https://www.discogs.com/style/metalcore

“Disguise” by Motionless in White official video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIEc_11Aydc

Emo subculture from Study.com: https://study.com/learn/lesson/emo-subculture-traits.html

FarOutMagazine.co.uk – Robert Smith article: https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/robert-smith-the-cure-goth/

FarOutMagazine.co.uk – Siouxsie Sioux article: https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/what-siouxsie-sioux-really-thinks-about-goth-label/